Sweet ink, dick.

So far I've seen two different people with 69's tattooed on themselves. No relation between either of these people, one of them merely passed me by and sent waves of confusion through my being and the other person is a douche.  Why the fuck, douche or no douche, would anyone get a 69 permanently etched onto their skin?  I needed an answer, so I asked around the office(shitty restaurant) and got a startling answer: "It's the Cancer sign."

...wut?

The fact that there are still human beings who casually trust in fictitious patterns in the sky and ludicrous news paper columns kinda worries me.  Aside from the delusional women that you work with and people who didn't graduate from high school in the 90's, who is neurotic enough to have a symbol of utter nothingness mean enough to be a tatoo?  Remember when everyone thought there was a new magical astronomy sign and people started losing this shit over whether or not they were going to go from being a Leo to being a weak ass Virgo(god forbid) for the rest of their life?  Imagine having that Cancer tattoo become exactly what I thought it was, a vulgar ole' 69.

Granted there are really shitty tattoos out there, but an astronomy themed bod mod is right up there with a dolphin or ladybug on your ankle or upper back.  I kinda want to ask a girl with a tramp stamp what the fuck was going through her head when she let a stranger change the way men view her for the rest of her life, definitely on the to-do list.  I like to think that for the most part, what few friends I have that have gotten tattooed have some pretty neat shit on there, part of the reason why I dont have a tat yet; I don't want it to suck!  Initials on the back of arms are pretty bad too, you know those beefy jocks with an Olde English letter on each tricep.  I find myself guessing what their names are if I'm ever stuck behind these clowns.

James Earl Jones. Play your cards right and you get to see the E.

I really don't think it's an outlandish thing to ask, but fucking THINK before you get ink(I hate myself for doing that right there). I'm gonna sit on my ass and make a poopoo noise the next time I see a facebook uploaded picture of your neato koi fish, or music notes because you love music so fucking much, or cherry blossums taking up your entire torso, because you're gonna make me scoff at you when I see it in public and you're really just making me more negative than I already am.  But whatever, 5 day weekend, get waste.

Forever Getting Waste,

JoeyG