Adam Kapa is a douche.

Ugh, so about how I love getting wasted with my parents.  We're out on the main strip in Newark, doing the damn thang, and we see this outrageous line to get into a mediocre bar(I will never buy into the Klondike Kate's hype).  In this line, I shit you not I see TWO adult males wearing "FREE WEEZY" shirts, with that gremlin-lookin motherfucker on the front. 
You're shitting me, right? 

I don't understand this baffling phenomena of wearing "FREE *your favorite shitty incarcerated rapper*" t shirts.  At what point do these goons confuse fashion for ludicrous political statements that turn these priviledged yuppies into anarchists?  Do you really want anarchy?  Then let that dickhead run around with his guns and let him MURDER ANOTHER HUMAN BEING!  Are you for serious?  OK, we'll wear a shirt for an average rapper completely guilty of carrying guns illegaly but we won't wear shit for a miscarriage of justice where 3 kids from West Memphis are wrongfully accused of buttfucking and murdering a toddler?  We, as humans, would rather the innocent death metal kids go to prison, than the obviously guilty rapper?  Fuck off and die, white America. 

Dont' worry though, folks,  these kids are just SWAGGIN THA FUCK OUT!!!  Look, I understand that we all bite our "style"/"attitude"/etc from somewhere, I am very aware that originality is on it's last legs as far as wardrobes and lifestyles go.  We sample everything from somewhere else, even when I think I'm cute for wearing a band tee from some really shitty hardcore band you haven't heard of, I'm just imitating.  We're wearing someone else's shit, no biggie... but apparently suburbia turned that into swag.  Do NOT get me wrong, there are some real dudes out there swaggin' out(I see you Based God! FUCKMYBITCH?), but in this case imitation is the sincerest form of pop culture rape/homicide. 

check this verb out: SWAGGER to conduct oneself in an arrogant or superciliously pompous manner; especially : to walk with an air of overbearing self-confidence

They actually used the word "pompous" in that, unreal. 
Can we keep it up though?  Can we possibly allow these assholes to run around in our Business Communications courses flaunting the fact that they don't want to obey simple gun control laws?  Fuck those faux-hipsters.  I dunno about you, but I'm sick as shit of seeing a picture of someone in appropriate concert gear taken from their mac, and having some aspect of the word "swag" be incorporated into it.  If taking pictures of yourself from your mac was cool, THEN NONE OF YOU ASSHOLES WOULDN'T BE DOING IT!!!!  But really,  I can't go off on hipsters right now, they're a different sport, and boy howdy, do I hate hipsters.



Remember when you were on Degrassi?  Eat a dick.



Bottom line, this shit needs to stop.  I understand that you want your favorite rapper of all time to put out your next favorite song of all time, but don't act like the law of the United States of America doesn't apply to your favorite asshole.  Normally I don't give a shit what anyone wears as long as it isn't too offensive(bleeding vaginas are usually where I call it quits), I can deal with it.. but being offensive and being an idiot aren't even remotely similar.  It's just starting to chaff my buns when I see these jokers run around in these trendy tee's making a fool of themselves.  I'm just a cynical asshole though.  What the fuck do I know?



Free this motherfucker instead,

Forever jacking off to bufferin' vids of Asher Roth eating applesauce,

JoeyG





Sweet ink, dick.

So far I've seen two different people with 69's tattooed on themselves. No relation between either of these people, one of them merely passed me by and sent waves of confusion through my being and the other person is a douche.  Why the fuck, douche or no douche, would anyone get a 69 permanently etched onto their skin?  I needed an answer, so I asked around the office(shitty restaurant) and got a startling answer: "It's the Cancer sign."

...wut?

The fact that there are still human beings who casually trust in fictitious patterns in the sky and ludicrous news paper columns kinda worries me.  Aside from the delusional women that you work with and people who didn't graduate from high school in the 90's, who is neurotic enough to have a symbol of utter nothingness mean enough to be a tatoo?  Remember when everyone thought there was a new magical astronomy sign and people started losing this shit over whether or not they were going to go from being a Leo to being a weak ass Virgo(god forbid) for the rest of their life?  Imagine having that Cancer tattoo become exactly what I thought it was, a vulgar ole' 69.

Granted there are really shitty tattoos out there, but an astronomy themed bod mod is right up there with a dolphin or ladybug on your ankle or upper back.  I kinda want to ask a girl with a tramp stamp what the fuck was going through her head when she let a stranger change the way men view her for the rest of her life, definitely on the to-do list.  I like to think that for the most part, what few friends I have that have gotten tattooed have some pretty neat shit on there, part of the reason why I dont have a tat yet; I don't want it to suck!  Initials on the back of arms are pretty bad too, you know those beefy jocks with an Olde English letter on each tricep.  I find myself guessing what their names are if I'm ever stuck behind these clowns.

James Earl Jones. Play your cards right and you get to see the E.

I really don't think it's an outlandish thing to ask, but fucking THINK before you get ink(I hate myself for doing that right there). I'm gonna sit on my ass and make a poopoo noise the next time I see a facebook uploaded picture of your neato koi fish, or music notes because you love music so fucking much, or cherry blossums taking up your entire torso, because you're gonna make me scoff at you when I see it in public and you're really just making me more negative than I already am.  But whatever, 5 day weekend, get waste.

Forever Getting Waste,

JoeyG

BIG GULPS, HUH???

Welp, I'm gonna do it.  If anybody has ever been flattered, amused,or beguiled by the words that come out of my face then you may be pleased to hear that this is your new source for textual stimulation.  No telling how often I'll write, nor how often I'll write something interesting, nor how many of you turkeys will read this... but I'm confident that I'll please what little demographic I reach.  As for now though,  Phils are down going into the 9th, and I really want Fuqua and the boys to get to 102. 

 So I must leave you with a gem that I found during my bedroom travels.

Aint that somethin?


Promiscuously,

JoeyG