Not the man now, dawg.

Sorry, I got distracted. 

Okay, lemme just put this out there.... new born babies are not cute, at all.  I guess I just don't see the beauty of life in this pygmy version of a human that looks supremely pissed off all the time.  As if it wasn't bad enough that babies have the ultimate premadonna attitude, not allowing a normal sleep or sexy-time schedule, but they just shit their pants whenever they feel like it.  I understand that they have no control over their bowels and whatnot, but then why does it seem that people my age are popping these things out at a frightening pace?  I would love to be able to honestly tell them that the picture they snapped of the baby right after it came out is cute, but it's not.  This seems to be the case with all babies, not just the ugly ones. Some people might see this blatant display of telling the truth as an attempt to pick on babies.  Those people are only about half right. 

As adorable as cancer.


Speaking of ugly people, a woman in a Walmart fucking peppered sprayed other shoppers for an XBOX on Black Friday.  Now first off, I don't think I'd be caught dead at this pathetic attempt to buy shit for a little bit cheaper than usual, but I'm only saying that because Vietnamese children aren't offered at malls or Walmarts yet.  Second, if ANYBODY peppered sprayed me over a fucking game console, I would mercilessly beat them into a coma.  This includes this mother of three children, all of whom were with her when she decided to do her best impression of an Oakland riot squad officer.  How did this filthy cunt get away with spraying 20ish people, and not get her ass beat?  Humans are putrid things, and if you actually went out and shopped on Black Friday, I think you're a shallow, materialistic pig.  Fuck off.

I'm keeping this shit short, because I have more Skyrim to play, but recently I read a question that gave me a solid 4-6 minutes of pondering:  "You're in a room with your clone, fight it or fuck it?" This is quite the inquery, because despite my charm and handsome looks, I would have finally found someone who GETS ME!  My closest friends don't really understand what's going on in my noggin, so it'd be really great to sit and chat with one of the most underestimated minds of my generation.  But the option was not to casually chat with your clone, and I don't think I could fuck myself.  Some people may be able to easily picture themselves pounding themselves in the ass or scissoring with themself, but for some reason that just ain't doing it for me.  But a fight, however, would be fucking sweet.  Finally, an opponent who matches me in every strength and weakness, I can see cities crumbling at their foundation as the fight proves what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object.  I get moist at the idea. 

I need to get back to wasting my time, but meanwhile, ask yourself, "Fight, or fuck myself?"

Seriously.

Better than my clone,


Joey G