Ambitionz as a ridah

Are we genetically predisposed to suck at driving?  One figures as much; women and sissies(myself included) suck, while everyone else kinda holds command over the road.  I'm not sure why I suck though, my only real issue is that I detest being on interstates and driving around places that I'm unfamiliar with, that's a lot of pressure, fucking sue me.  I've only had two fender benders and two speeding tickets over a span of five or so years and I'm comfortable saying that I really fucking hate driving.  I think I might drive shittier after I get done playing Grand Theft Auto, and if that's the case everyone better be really fucking happy I don't own any guns.

It might be because I push a Taurus around.  I don't think I've ever met a person who drives a Taurus who doesn't absolutely loathe their life.  People that ride hogs do the little hand thing on the side of the bike if they pass each other, Wrangler drivers smile and wave, while us Taurus drivers just sigh and hold up what weapon we've decided would be appropriate for our suicides.  There is always some shit going wrong with my car and I'm constantly paranoid that it's going to conk out on my way up to Newark one day, especially when I go over that one big fucking bridge with the yellow support things. 

This picture couldn't make Delaware look any more like a cold, dead place.

Fuck driving.  I'd rather skate everywhere; cheap as balls and infinitely more fun than driving, even if you suck at it!  Who cares about all of the ecological benefits you get when you don't drive, can you and your friends all hop in your own cars and start driving across the UD campus?  Theoretically, you could, but it's way more enjoyable and within the confinements of the law(kinda) to just skate everywhere.  In Delaware there two areas that I know of where you can live and not have to drive anywhere if you skate: Newark, and the beaches.  I'm sure there are other spots where it's easy to maintain a living situation in the state and skate at the same time, but I haven't been there so it doesn't exist to me. 

At first I wanted to write about cars and driving and shit, but literally everything is so much more appealing about skating right now.  This past summer I bought my first longboard and it was probably the most fun I've had since my childhood innocence died out years ago.  I remember being so pumped when I got it that later at work I ended up taking a break(which nobody really gives a shit about anymore) and skating around the UDel campus for 45 minutes, WITHOUT clocking out.  Fuck you Grotto Pizza.  If anybody gets truly bored with whatever shitty surroundings they're stuck in, buy a longboard.  The feeling of finally finding your balance and comfort zone is so satisfying, especially the first time you lean/crouch on your board and run your fingers against the asphault.  Gosh, I'm getting wood.  Finding unfamiliar ways across that campus on my way to and from work was some of the bulliest shit I did this summer, it was that adventurous childlike feeling that comes when you're doing something new.  I didn't feel like a degenerate substance abusing adult anymore.  Sike, I totally did.  I'm not going to act like the gods of eating shit didn't call for blood though, that board handed my ass to me a few times.  I'd go into detail about the worst fall of my life but I still can't really get through the story without my eyes twitching and my asshole quivering.  Ask me about it in person, it's funny.

I'm probably gonna write more about longboarding and this past summer now.  I'm cool with that.


Nostalgically,

JoeyG